No Matter How Dark the Night
by Faythdreamer
Summary: A story composed of filling in the blanks- Auron's past, and how it relates to Spira's future. Please RR!
1. First Day

No Matter How Dark the Night by Faythdreamer  
  
Hi everyone! This is my first fanfic, so go easy on me, K? I've had this story in my head for the past year or so, but never had the confidence to post it. Please R+R and tell me if I should keep my day job- lol.  
  
Isthia Ravenhart stood on a balconey overlooking the cityscape of Bevelle, enjoying the sunwashed beauty of Spira's largest city. Far below her, the water of Bevelle's harbor threw off prisms of light, matching the sparkle in the 16-year-old's silver-blue eyes. Brushing back a lock of thick, jet- black hair, the beautiful apprentice summoner inhaled deeply. Just yesterday, she had finally been accepted to become an apprentice and today her training would begin. It was her custom to come to this spot in the city, to clear her mind and prepare for each new day. She smiled at the sound of footsteps behind her.  
  
"Well, Isthia, you've done it. Or should I say, LADY Isthia?" A thrill ran up Isthia's spine at the familiar deep voice of her best friend. She whirled and bounded across the terrace to him in one smooth, graceful movement. She slapped his arm playfully. "Don't jinx me Auron! After all, I'm just an apprentice!" Auron laughed, brushing a strand of inky hair away from Isthia's beautiful face. The tall eighteen-year-old gathered his friend into a hug. "You'll do it, I know you will. Ever since we were kids, whatever you set your mind to, you accomplish." Isthia rubbed her face against his chest before pulling away to arm's length. "And what about you? Training to become a warrior monk? Fiends, beware!" Auron smiled, brushing her face. "Right now, you might want to beware- I'm feeling like the hunter today." Isthia melted at the fire in Auron's beautiful russet eyes. "I must be the easiest target ever," she murmured, just before Auron's lips claimed hers in a lingering kiss.  
  
Heehee, what do you think? I know it's kinda short, but the opening chappie is always the hardest, or so I'm told. More to come, I promise! Please R+R or you won't get none! (Evil laugh) And please, Auron lovers, don't start scheming for my demise just yet! 


	2. Reminiscing

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 2  
  
Disclaimer- I don't own FFX or anything associated with it  
  
Ok, It's official! I got my 1st review yesterday- Thanks soooo much ebil- nanaki! This one's for you!  
  
Isthia sat lost in thought at the end of her first day as an apprentice summoner in a small chamber designed for that purpose in the palace of St. Bevelle. To her surprise, learning white magic had come very easily to her. While most of her comrades were struggling to learn the invoking movements associated with spell-casting, Isthia's natural grace had come into play, allowing her to perform the dance-like movements with ease. By the end of the day, she had managed a weak casting of cure, to her instructor's amazement.  
  
"We've only had a very few that were able to cure within one day. You will go far, apprentice summoner." Isthia had blushed under the complement, and the ensuing applause issuing from her classmates. With her hypnotizing beauty and gentle disposition, she had earned many male admirers and a goodly number of female friends. A few sat with her now, meditating on the lessons learned that day. But Isthia found she could not concentrate. Instead her thoughts were wandering to encompass a certain powerfully built 18-year-old whose company she had enjoyed that morning overlooking Bevelle.  
  
Auron too, was having difficulty concentrating on the swordsmanship lessons he was currently occupying. Since he was old enough to swing a sword, he had practiced faithfully three hours every day, and the movements he was having to learn were puerile to his well-developed skill. He sighed in exasperation, his thoughts wandering to Isthia.  
  
He had first met her when he was 14. She had been 12 then, and a group of boys were picking on her. "Yah, stupid orphan! You'll never make summoner! You can't even defend yourself- how are you going to fight Sin?" Isthia was crouched down in the sand, trying to protect herself from the blows rained down on her head. Auron stepped in. "Let her alone," he said quietly, his practice katana still held over his shoulder. He would never know if it was the threat of his using that to back up his point or the quiet menace in his voice, but the group slunk off to bother something more vulnerable.  
  
Auron knelt down beside the girl. "It's ok- they've gone." He reached out and laid a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, and Auron gulped. She was gorgeous. Large, crystalline silver-blue eyes, framed by inky raven hair in thick ringlets, porcelain skin, and a perfect figure. Tears stood in her eyes, but she managed a smile. "Thanks," she said softly. "I owe you one." Auron took a deep breath as the musical cadence that was her voice reached his ears. "Aw, it's nothing. But we'd better go find your parents and get you cleaned up." Isthia hung her head. "Don't have parents. I'm a ward of the temple." "Oh," Auron said. "Well, come on to my place. Mom will take care of you and then we'll get you back to the temple." He stood up and brushed himself off, holding out his hand. She took it, he helped her up, and led her away in the direction of his house.  
  
From then on, they were inseparable. They went everywhere, did everything together- and of course, fell in love. Isthia found in him the love she'd never had from anyone, and Auron wondered at his luck of having such an angel. They knew nothing would ever tear them apart.  
  
Auron was recalled from his musings as the instructor dismissed the class. He practically ran out of the arena, only to meet Isthia emerging from the meditation chamber. He dropped his katana and ran to her, sweeping her off her feet and whirling her around. "You did it! You survived your first day!" Isthia laughed. "Put me down, you big lunk! Of course I survived! And so did you by the looks of things." Auron set her down. "Barely. I nearly died of boredom! The stuff we had to do- I was doing it when I was nine!" Isthia smiled and rubbed his arm. "Then why don't we go do something more entertaining?" Auron grinned. "Whatcha got in mind?" "Weeeelll...." Isthia smiled back. "Come with me." Auron happily obliged.  
  
Well, what did you think? And ebil-nanaki, I haven't forgotten about Auron's arranged marriage. We'll get to that in the next few chappies. Please R&R! C-ya soon! 


	3. Meetings

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 3  
  
Disclaimer- I do not own rights to FFX or anything associated with it.  
  
Ok, guys- here you go! Now is when things start getting interesting! Thx to Sakin for your great R&R on chapter 2.  
  
As the months passed, Isthia's seemingly natural talent for the summoner's art gained her a lot of attention. Auron's prowess with the katana was making him into somewhat of a legend among the apprentice warrior monks, as well as earning him some admiration from the ever present females, all too eager for an excuse to watch him work. He smiled as he executed a somewhat difficult parry against his sparring partner, a faint flush creeping to his cheeks at the gasps and whispers from the girls gathered at the arena's edge. As his partner stepped back to regain his balance, Auron suddenly lunged forward, knocking his opponent's weapon from his grasp and sending him flying. "Bravo, Auron! One more down. How many does that make that you've vanquished this week? Six?" Auron twisted his weapon in a warrior's salute. "Actually, seven," he replied. Wen Kinoc, the Maester, smiled. "Keep this up and you'll be a guardian in no time." Auron pushed his hair away from his face, gathering the dark strands into a ponytail. Bowing formally, he sheathed his sword and helped his opponent up. "Good spar. We should do it again sometime." The young apprentice smiled at Auron, rubbing his arm ruefully. "Yeah, in about ten years when I've had as much practice as you." Auron grinned and made his way to the outskirts of the arena, trying to get past the girls who giggled and squealed at his approach. They scattered as he walked through them, save for one. Auron abruptly stopped when she didn't step aside. "Looks like you know your way around with that thing," the girl said in a surprisingly deep, sultry voice. Auron took in her measure. Tall, slender, golden hair and green eyes. "Thank you, miss-?" "Gaia. I'm Molkan's daughter." "Molkan? As in the high priest Molkan?" Auron was stunned. How did a girl like that come from someone as physically repulsive as him? Gaia smiled. "Not what you expected?" "Uh, no, I...just...didn't think he had any children, or...was married..." Auron trailed off, not really knowing what to say. Gaia laughed. "You're Auron, no?" "That's right," he replied, swinging his katana up onto his shoulder. Gaia stepped away. "Perhaps we'll meet again," Auron just nodded and watched her go. Certainly not a beauty like Isthia, but she had a very commanding presence. Must get it from her father, Auron thought absently, his feet taking him toward where he knew he'd find his Isthia.  
  
At that moment, Isthia was finishing her lesson in second-level black magic. Having mastered both 1st level white magic and 1st level black magic, her instructor decided to move her on to second-level castings. After performing Fira several times, Isthia was confident that any fiend would think twice after she attacked with it. Her instructor was impressed as well. "Nicely done, Isthia. If your summoning arts are anywhere near as good as your magic, Spira has uncovered a great treasure." Isthia blushed. "Thank you, your eminence." The mage smiled encouragingly before patting her arm and walking away, her temple robe swishing softly. Isthia took a deep breath and massaged her temples, which ached slightly with the effort of concentrating so long. "That's good work," said a voice behind her. Isthia whirled, surprised. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you," the speaker said. Isthia sized him up briefly. Brown eyes, tall, good build, with light brown hair falling over his eyes. Fairly good looking, but no heart-pounder like Auron. He held out his hand. "I'm Kirin Lighthand, priest of St. Bevelle. And you are?" "Apprentice summoner Isthia," she replied, shaking his hand briefly. "Mmmm....I've been watching you for a while now. Your talent is incredible, and I'm not just saying that. Most apprentice summoners haven't made it past 1st level by now, and you're well on your way to 3rd level. Before you know it, you'll be ready for the trials." Isthia blushed at the young man's words. "Th-thank you, my lord! That's very kind of you." Kirin smiled. "Please, call me Kirin. And it's not kind, it's the truth." Isthia lowered her eyes, not exactly liking the way his eyes lingered on her. Kirin studied her a moment before backing away, to Isthia's relief. "Well, milady, perhaps we'll meet again. May Yevon guide you," he said, bowing in prayer before walking away. Isthia returned the bow, then took up her staff and went to find Auron.  
  
As she thought, she found him in one of Bevelle's many gardens. He embraced her, kissing her forehead tenderly. He noticed the weariness in her eyes. "Rough day?" he asked, his deep voice thrilling her to her core. She nodded. "Plus a rather tiresome priest who is 'amazed with my talent,'" Isthia cracked. Auron's hand moved toward his katana. "Do I need to take care of business?" He growled half-seriously. Isthia laughed. "No, I don't think so. How about you? Anyone new drooling over you today?" Auron smirked. "Yeah, the high priest's daughter. Actually, it wasn't drooling...I don't think. She was just being nice." "Uh-huh. Sure. Well, high priest's daughter or not, she'd better stay away, or I'll show her what my training has taught me," Isthia said playfully, her grip on her staff tightening. Auron laughed and put his arm around her slender waist. "Come on. Let's get out of here." Together, they walked away, arms around each other. The velvet darkness of night closed around them.  
  
Well, that's it for this chappie. Looks like Auron and Isthia are turning some heads- think we'll be hearing from Kirin and Gaia again? Mwahahaha! You'll have to read the next chapter to find out! Coming soon to a website near you! ;-) 


	4. Troubling Conversations

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 4  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own FFX or anything associated with it.  
  
Ok, peeps! Here you go, the next chappie, complete with new, improved writing style. THX to ebil-nanaki, Sakin, heath 999, and rjtheclown for your honest reviews, constructive criticism, and raves!  
  
As the months passed, Isthia and Auron settled into their roles as apprentice summoner and warrior monk in training. Together, they learned and absorbed the teachings of Yevon, allowing it to mold their thinking and shape their decisions. Quickly, they began to mature into the man and woman they would become.  
  
"That's right. Don't think about it so hard. You have the talent. Now use it."  
  
Isthia tried to erase the expression of disdain on her face as she concentrated on her spell casting. Kirin Lighthand was becoming a source of constant irritation to the pretty young girl. He never seemed to be far from her when she was learning or practicing her art. Always ready with a complement, a smile, a helpful hint- she appreciated his interest at first, but soon realized he was being more than helpful. This was made apparent one night after a particularly trying day.  
  
There had been a large fiend on the rampage in Macalania woods, and several pilgrims to Bevelle had been injured. Isthia had been honored to participate in helping to heal them. But it took its toll. When Isthia finally emerged from the chamber where they had housed the wounded, Kirin was waiting. Isthia sighed in exasperation. Could she never escape him? His honest face creased into a concerned frown when he saw her weariness.  
  
"Hey, you look exhausted. Are you ok?"  
  
Isthia groaned inwardly. "Not the best welcome, Kirin. Do I look ok?" It came out sharper than she intended, and she recoiled slightly when his expression changed to one of hurt.  
  
"I'm sorry- I didn't mean that. It's just that- I've never done this before, and....I guess I didn't realize how taxing it would be. Just ignore me."  
  
Kirin's expression was firm. "Lady Isthia, you'd do well to learn to guard your emotions. One day the people of Spira will look up to you as a support. You must learn to be strong."  
  
Isthia held up a hand. "Spare me the Yevon bull, Kirin. I don't need this right now, Ok?"  
  
Kirin nodded. "I'm sorry- you're right. Can I take you to dinner? As an apology?"  
  
"No." Isthia was in no mood to be generous. "As you so graciously pointed out, I'm tired. I want to go home and go to sleep." With that, she spun on her heel and walked away from the dazed young priest.  
  
Auron was not having the best of days either. A different warrior monk had come to Bevelle to take the training of the apprentices to a new level- and Auron had the wound to his shoulder and his pride to prove it. A long time had passed since anyone had challenged his skill. But this guy knew his way around a katana. And so here Auron sat, nursing the bruise on his shoulder from a particularly dangerous overhead block that- well, he hadn't blocked.  
  
"Hi there. Bruised ego?"  
  
Auron rolled his eyes when he heard Gaia approach from behind. She rarely left him alone now, and while the dinners with her family he had attended – with Isthia in tow- had done good things for his advancing skill, he was getting the feeling that with Gaia, it was more than 'professional interest.' But she hadn't won any points with that last remark, and he was getting ready to let her know it.  
  
"My ego doesn't bruise," he snarled. "My shoulder, however, does. So instead of hurling smart remarks around, why don't you make yourself useful and find a healer? Or are you just window dressing for Daddy?"  
  
It sounded awful, even to him, but in his present mood, he wasn't about to apologize. Gaia's catlike green eyes went wide with surprise, then narrowed in anger. When she spoke, her voice was low and dark.  
  
"Well, I don't know what happened to you today, but until you can address me with the respect I deserve you can just not address me at all. How's that, Mr. Tough all-go-no-quit?" She began to walk away before the tears welling in her eyes began to fall. She wouldn't let him see her cry.  
  
"Fine!" Auron yelled after her. "That's the best idea you've had since we met!" He then got to his feet and went to find Isthia, knowing that she could heal both his wounds- and wouldn't be such a cat about doing it.  
  
Well, there you have it. Hope you like, and sorry it took me so long to post this. Enjoy- will Isthia and Auron make up with each of their third wheels to save their positions? Will it turn to something more? Stay tuned for chapter 5, coming soon! 


	5. Solemn Duty

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 5  
  
Ok, guys, here it is after too long! Thanks again to all my reviewers. Sorry it took so long- college is hell! Anyway, here you go- enjoy!  
  
Isthia sat quietly in a meditation chamber off the main antechamber of St. Bevelle. She tried to ease the headache pounding in her temples. It had not been a good day. Kirin avoided her like the plague except to criticize, and she hadn't seen Auron in almost a week. He had received the great honor of escorting High Priest Molkan and his daughter to the opening ceremony of blitzball season in Luca. She missed him terribly. Oh, well, she said to herself, standing up and rubbing her back. No use sitting here wallowing in self-pity. And she started for her house.  
  
Kirin watched her go. He had timed how long it had taken her to get to her home and how long it would take her to discover his surprise. He found himself caring for her deeply. He knew what her role as a summoner demanded of her, but for as long as Isthia was in this world, he wanted to be by her side, perhaps to even be chosen as her Final Aeon. There was only one problem- a tall, dark-haired man named Auron whom, Kirin knew, Isthia loved deeply. The only way he may have a chance with her was to get rid of Auron. But how?  
  
Isthia shut the door to her small dwelling, turned around- and gasped in surprise. There on the table sat the most beautiful arrangement of roses she had ever seen. Yellow, pink, orange, and crimson, complimented by lush greenery and delicate trailing vines. She smiled through the tears beginning to fill her eyes. "Oh, Auron," she breathed, reaching for the card attached to the bouquet. But her dreamy smile soon faded as she read the note.  
  
"I know I was wrong and you may not be able to forgive me- I'm not asking for that. Please give me another chance to prove that I sincerely care about you. Meet me tonight at the Gandof to accept my apology in person. Wear the dress, and bring the flowers. Kirin."  
  
Isthia sat down with a bump. Kirin?! She knew roses like that cost a fortune, and the Gandof was just about the most expensive restaurant in Spira. And what dress? On a hunch, she walked into her bedroom. Laid out on the bed was a dress that sparkled in the pale light. It was white, strapless, made of a shimmery, floating material that reached to the floor. Beside it was a miniature version of the arrangement in her living room, made up in a bouquet-like shape.  
  
"Oh, dear, what now?" Isthia thought to herself. The dress was gorgeous, like nothing she had ever seen. He must have spent every gil he had to do this. She sighed.  
  
"I can't not go," she said aloud. "Oh, Auron, if only you were here."  
  
At that moment, Auron was wishing he was anywhere but where he was. Gaia had not left him alone all night. Now she sat next to him in their chocobo- drawn carriage asleep, her head on his shoulder. Auron sighed. She had come to him before he had accepted the offer to go on this trip to apologize. He mentally replayed the scene.  
  
"I know I'm spoiled and petted and made much of, and I know I've let it go to my head. It was wrong of me to act the way I did. Please forgive me."  
  
Auron had been shocked. The high and mighty priest's daughter, apologizing to him? He had grunted an acceptance, and Gaia had raised her eyes to his. He was even more surprised to see traces of tears in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered, stretching up to kiss him on the cheek before walking away.  
  
He looked at the girl sleeping on his shoulder. Why, oh why couldn't it be Isthia? He wondered what she was doing now.  
  
At that moment, Isthia was walking up the street leading to the Gandof, roses in hand, her new dress swirling in the slight breeze. Her heart was screaming NO NO NO NO! but her head was motivating her to at least thank Kirin for his kindness. She looked down at her dress, admiring the way the fabric caught the light, the way it hugged her slender figure. From the gaping looks she had received from passersby, she must look wonderful. The maitre'd of the Gandof smiled and bowed.  
  
"Ah, you must be Lady Isthia. Maester Mika is expecting you. This way, Milady."  
  
As Isthia followed him dumbly, her brain was racing. Maester Mika, expecting her? No way! But sure enough, as the maitre'd led her into a private dining room, the aged leader of Spira rose to meet her. Standing next to him to one side was Kirin, dressed in his best robes. On the other side, Isthia recognized someone she had heard much of but never seen- Lord Jyscal Guado, leader of the Guado people and Yevon's newest convert. He smiled warmly at her and Isthia relaxed a little.  
  
"Lady Isthia, I presume?" Maester Mika addressed her, his frail voice reaching every corner of the small chamber.  
  
"Yes, Your Grace," Isthia bowed, making the prayer of Yevon, which the Maester returned.  
  
"Rise, my child. You have nothing to fear." Isthia looked up. Kirin was staring at her with a look akin to worship in his eyes. Isthia slowly rose out of her kneeling position.  
  
"My Lord, if I may..." Isthia began slowly, "Might I ask what your honor is doing here? And with My Lord Jyscal as well?"  
  
Jyscal smiled. "She's well-mannered, I'll say that. And for a human, she's lovely. Nicely done, Kirin." Kirin blushed and looked at his feet.  
  
Mika smiled a little condescendingly. "Why wouldn't we want to be here for the marriage of our most promising apprentice to such a fine young man? Especially when we helped him arrange all this."  
  
Isthia felt herself growing numb. At the word marriage, a curious low roar had started in her ears. She had a cold feeling creeping over her. She couldn't meet Kirin's eyes. What had he done? She shook her head, as if to clear it.  
  
"My...my Lord, perhaps I don't understand...but... did I just hear you say marriage? Marriage of whom?"  
  
Kirin finally spoke. "Our marriage, Isthia. Maester Mika feels that you need someone in the close capacity that marriage provides in order to make your Final Summoning easier."  
  
"But I don't love you!" Isthia blurted before she thought. Kirin hung his head.  
  
"I know. But this is not about love, Isthia. It is about your solemn duty to bring peace to the people of Yevon. I accept this honor with the hope we may grow to love each other. Maester Mika arranged this knowing how I feel about you. I love you Isthia, even if you cannot return that love."  
  
Isthia swayed and would have fallen if Jyscal had not caught her with lightning speed. She slumped in his arms, her breath coming in gasps. Marry Kirin?! NO! Jyscal rubbed her back soothingly. "I'm so sorry child. I was under the impression the feeling was mutual. If I had known, I never would have supported this. Forgive me."  
  
Isthia looked up into his deep gentian-blue eyes. Such kindness, such compassion, and...sadness? She straightened, her mind made up.  
  
"It is my duty, Lord Jyscal. Thank you for your kindness." Jyscal released her, her pain mirrored on his face. Isthia turned to face Mika and Kirin, all trace of emotion erased.  
  
"I have one condition," she said.  
  
"Name it," Kirin said eagerly.  
  
"That the most intimate expression of love be forbidden you, Kirin. I will appear in public by your side, I will support your career as you undoubtedly support mine, but I will not grant you all of me. That was granted to my only love long before you met me, and will never belong to you. Do you understand?" The ice in Isthia's voice was unmistakable.  
  
Kirin nodded. "I expected as much. Whatever you wish, Isthia. I would sooner die than make you do something you don't wish to do."  
  
Isthia nearly screamed, Then don't make me do this! But she kept her composure. Stepping forward, she bowed to Maester Mika.  
  
"Then let us begin."  
  
WELL?!? What did you think? Oh, just wait till Auron hears about this! What's going to happen? MWAHAHAHAHA! 


	6. The Weight of Your Decision

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 6  
  
Can everyone forgive me for not posting a chap in so long? I am SOOOO sorry! Thanks to everyone for all their great reviews- rj, quirky, jen leonhart-and if I missed anyone, A general thank you to all of you.  
  
Isthia stood frozen in place as Maester Mika intoned the words joining her to Kirin Lighthand as his wife. Feelings, memories, and thoughts swirled through her mind as if she were being sucked through a vortex. Beside her Lord Jyscal stood, his eyes downcast, mentally reproaching himself for supporting this course of action. He knew how important it had been to him to marry for love- he had defied an entire race of people to do so. Did not this poor girl deserve the same privilege?  
  
"I now pronounce you man and wife." In the silence that followed, Isthia heard her heart shatter. That night, she died inside. As Kirin placed a hesitant kiss on her lips, she mentally screamed for Auron. Where was her only love as she was dying?  
  
"I'm sorry, Gaia," Auron said as he roughly pulled away from the high priest's daughter's inviting kiss. She never ceased to surprise him. Their conversation had had nothing of the romantic in it, and the next thing Auron knew, she was in his arms, kissing him with a zeal and passion rivaled only by Isthia.  
  
"What is it, Auron?" Gaia questioned, looking hurt. "Do you not find me attractive?'  
  
"It's not that," Auron said haltingly. She was attractive, and the kiss had stirred emotions in him he thought only Isthia was capable of arousing. But he loved, and would love, only one. Now was the time to explain that to Gaia before things got worse than they already were.  
  
"Gaia, you're a beautiful, desirable woman, and any man should count himself fortunate to have you," Auron began, taking Gaia's hand. "But, you must understand something about me, about my situation. Long ago my heart was promised to another. I cannot betray that promise, no matter how appealing the offer. I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you by promising something I cannot fulfill. Please understand."  
  
A combination of rejection and the gentleness in Auron's tone caused tears to spring to Gaia's bright emerald eyes. She dashed them from her eyes, angry at showing weakness in front of Auron.  
  
"Is it that apprentice summoner I always see you with?" Her voice was harsher than Gaia intended. When Auron nodded, Gaia could hold the tears back no longer.  
  
"I've known her since we were children. When she had nothing, I was there. I've always been there for her, and I always will be. She completes me Gaia. Love like that cannot just easily disappear with the affection of another."  
  
Auron flinched as Gaia's hand flew at his cheek. The echo of the slap reverberated across the glassy stillness of Macalania Lake, where they were camped for the night.  
  
"Come to your senses, Auron! You know it's forbidden for a warrior monk and a summoner to...enjoy such companionship! You would hold on to a dream in lieu of a living breathing woman who can love you without fear of discovery and consequences?"  
  
Auron stood up. When he spoke, the quiet anger in his voice was unmistakable "My love for Isthia came about long before Yevon's rules interposed on it, and it will continue long after Yevon has no say in our lives. I believe it is you who holds on to a dream, Gaia, a dream that will never be. I hope it keeps you warm at night." With that he spun on his heel and walked away, Gaia's voice falling on his unwilling ears.  
  
"You're a fool, Auron! This isn't over, just wait and see! I'm not finished, and I don't give up that easily! Auron!"  
  
The journey back to Bevelle the next day was spent in frosty silence, which made Auron not uncomfortable in the least. He had not wanted to cause Gaia pain, but if pain was the only thing that would make her understand, so be it. Gaia, on the other hand, would prove to be a far wilier adversary than Auron could imagine. While dreams of Isthia filled his mind, Gaia was consumed by thoughts of how to force Auron to see her point, to understand that love was no match for the power of a high priest's daughter.  
  
After her marriage, Isthia had thrown herself into her training with a zeal that surprised and worried her new husband. While she had stayed true to her word, and he had not known all the pleasures of his wife, he had come to realize that her idea of marriage and his was far different. At every opportunity she made it clear that this was not to be a marriage in the strictest sense of the word. They shared a home, but not a bed. In the rare instances they were together, she hardly spoke, and when she did it was with icy, distant courtesy. It saddened Kirin that it had come to this, but he was the type of man who always got what he wanted, no matter the cost. He didn't care how she reacted. He knew it was only a matter of time before she cracked and relented. So he was content to wait, to bide his time until just the right moment....  
  
Isthia on the other hand, had no intention of buckling or cracking. Every night after her training was complete, the floor of Bevelle temple was awash with a flood of tears. The tears of a poor brokenhearted girl who cried out her pain at the feet of the stone statues of high summoners long gone. But when she had sobbed herself into a state of exhaustion, she slowly would rise, her head up, and her emotions sealed away....until the next night, where impassive stone faces would once again witness the agony of a love denied.  
  
In the end, it was Kirin who cracked. After Isthia had returned home one night, the night before she knew Auron would return, Kirin could stand it no longer.  
  
"Isthia. Please," he began, placing a hand on her shoulder to prevent her from walking away. Isthia stopped. "Please what, Kirin? I have nothing to say to you."  
  
The words stabbed at Kirin like a knife. He hid the pain well, though, taking a deep breath before exhaling slowly.  
  
"Tomorrow, High Priest Molkan returns. There will be a celebration of that event which, Maester Mika informed me, will also serve as our wedding reception. For your sake, I hope you can adopt a better demeanor than what you have now."  
  
Isthia sighed and shrugged off his hand. "Kirin, I promised you the night we were married that I would support your career in any way, and I'll keep my promise. I'll be the perfect token wife. I'll say all the right things, I'll do all the right things, and I'll suck up to all the right people. But there my obligation ends. What I do with my demeanor is none of your concern. Good night." And with that she entered her room and slammed the door.  
  
Once inside, Isthia screamed into a tightly balled pillow. Her only love was returning tomorrow to what he thought would be a warm reception. How would he react when the icy dagger of truth pierced his heart? Isthia's tears flowed anew at the betrayal she knew she had inflicted on him. Why o why couldn't she have fought more? It was a struggle she endured every night. Her heart screamed 'you've betrayed the best thing you ever had! COWARD! You deserve the pain you're enduring.' But her mind said 'how could you possibly love Auron if you're dead, for you know that's where you would have ended up if you had defied the order of Yevon. If Auron loves you at all, he will understand.' And so with that thought Isthia fell into a fitful sleep, her dreams haunted by the thousand wounds inflicted on her soul.  
  
WELL?!? Review PLEASE! You should see the stress I went through writing this one! I don't like doing this to them any more than you like reading it! But that's why they call it a drama- I promise there will be a few things to happen in the next chapters that will sort of make up for all this..... 


	7. Coming Home

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 7  
  
Hi guys. Thanks for being so patient with me about updates. Humblemaster, thank you for your reminder to get up off my butt and update! Marinawings, you're the best- this one's for you. Quirky, RJ, Jen, everybody enjoy! It tore me up to write this one...sniff sniff  
  
Auron breathed deeply upon entering Bevelle's massive antechamber. As always, when he returned to this hallowed place, all his cares seemed to melt away, soothed by the barely perceptible voices of times long past. He formed his hands into the Yevon prayer, bowing deeply at the feet of the past high summoners. He felt his clarity returning, something he desperately needed after the weekend with Gaia. He knew that rejection of the High Priest's daughter would not earn him any popularity points among his superiors, but he was sure that once they met his true love, all objections would melt away. He smiled thinking of Isthia. She represented everything he had always wanted- love, joy, security, warmth- their personalities just fit like puzzle pieces. That was something Gaia would never understand. Auron stood up. He was wasting time. He would march right over to the apprentice summoners' hall and ask Isthia to marry him, no matter who was around. Filled with resolve, he turned and started to walk away. A familiar face met him at the door.  
  
"Hey, Auron! You're back! How was it?" Wen Kinoc asked cheerfully, grabbing Auron in a bear hug.  
  
Auron disentangled himself. "Quite awful, thank you."  
  
Kinoc laughed. "Gaia still after you, huh? By the shoopuf, she doesn't know when to quit."  
  
Auron nodded. "Yeah, but then again she's the high priest's daughter. She's used to getting her way, all the time."  
  
Kinoc shook his head. "Well, you could do worse- she's got looks, money, connections, power..." Kinoc trailed off at the look of horror on his friend's face. He slapped Auron on the back. "Hey, just kidding! I don't know how you've stood it this long- one day of her whining and I would go nuts!"  
  
Auron grinned. "Yeah, well, you can't exactly say to the high priest's daughter "You're driving me nuts-enough already. But I have an idea that might remedy the Gaia problem." He turned and began striding out the door, Kinoc trailing closely behind, all ears.  
  
"What's the plan? Can I help?" Kinoc rubbed his hands with glee.  
  
Auron sighed. Kinoc could be so childish sometimes. "Gaia doesn't seem to think I'm capable of love. I intend to show her just how capable I am. I'm going to ask the love of my life to marry me, something I should have done long ago."  
  
Kinoc's jaw dropped. "YOU?! IN LOVE?! SINCE WHEN?! AND WITH WHO?!"  
  
Auron laughed. "Yes, me, in love, since I was about 14, with the lady Isthia- the apprentice summoner from Besaid."  
  
Kinoc suddenly sobered, his expression changing to profound sadness. "Oh, yes, I remember now. You don't know? No one told you?"  
  
For the first time in his life, Auron felt the icy claw of dread wrap around his heart. "What don't I know? What hasn't anyone told me?"  
  
Kinoc shuffled his feet, embarrassed. "Lady Isthia was married just three days ago- to the priest Kirin Lighthand. From what I hear, it was an arranged marriage- either Isthia go along or she suffers a fate worse than death- excommunication."  
  
A curious low roaring was beginning in Auron's head. The world underfoot began to spin, and he collapsed into a crouch on the painted street of Bevelle. Isthia....married? And to all people- Kirin Lighthand?! How could she?! Anger began to flood Auron, red mists clouding his vision. Here he had resisted the advances of the High Priest's daughter herself out of fidelity to Isthia, and as soon as he leaves her alone for one minute, she up and gets married to a priest!  
  
"NO! It's not true, Kinoc! I should tear out your heart for telling such lies!" And with that, Auron started to draw his Katana. The blade hissed as it was unsheathed, three feet of sharp, blue-tinged steel.  
  
Kinoc held his hands up placatingly. "It's true, my friend. Their reception is being held tonight. Orders of Maester Mika himself."  
  
Auron wavered, the katana point striking the ground at his feet. "....Maester Mika? But...why Isthia? Why did he choose her for his little pet priest? She's a summoner- he knows her eventuality! WHY?!"  
  
Kinoc shook his head. "Apparently, what Kirin wants Kirin gets. And he wanted Isthia."  
  
Auron let his katana fall from his fighting stance in defeat. He knew the power Kirin had over the old Maester- so much so that it was rumored Kirin would be the next Grand Maester. Even Isthia must not be able to stand up under such power, for Auron knew she loved him. It must have been quite a blow to her, being forced to marry- and to someone like THAT- Auron felt his flesh crawl with revulsion and he shuddered.  
  
"My poor Isthia," he murmured, once again falling to his knees in the street. He buried his face in his hands and wept. Kinoc crouched beside him.  
  
"I'm sure she loves you, Auron," he began quietly. "It all makes sense now. When I first saw her after her wedding, she looked so...distant, so sad, not like a new bride should look at all. I couldn't put my finger on exactly what was wrong...but with what I know now, it all makes sense." He placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Go to her. I'm sure she's been dying a little every day since her wedding. Go to her, before it's too late."  
  
Auron raised a grief-stricken face. "I can't, Kinoc- she's a married woman. I'll do nothing to shame her in any way."  
  
Kinoc's face was kind. "There is no shame in love, Auron. The shame lies in the circumstances mortals restrict it with. Kirin is just an obstacle to the true path. I've never yet seen you shrink from obstacles. Don't do it now."  
  
Auron's face hardened. "You're right. Here I am crying like a child over nothing. I must see her. When is the reception, and where?"  
  
Kinoc glanced at the sun. "It's been going on for a while now, at the Maester's house. Follow me." And the two friends rushed away into the lengthening twilight.  
  
Isthia, meanwhile, could not have been more miserable. Dressed in the filmy white gown she had worn those three awful nights before, she pasted a mechanical smile on her face, murmuring thank you's as if by rote to the long line of well-wishers that seemed to have no end. Kirin hovered like an annoying insect, his hand on her bare shoulder, or playing with a tendril of her midnight hair, or rubbing the small of her back. Once he had kissed her on the cheek, recoiling quickly at the anger that came to her icy silver-blue eyes. Now he just stood behind her, nodding and smiling graciously at the line of people come to wish them well. Just then, Maester Mika arrived.  
  
Kirin sank into a deep bow, the Yevon prayer gesture made gracefully and fluidly. Isthia flashed a hate-ridden glace at her once- beloved spiritual leader before following suit. Mika noted the glance, then smiled benevolently.  
  
"Rise, my children. May the blessing of Yevon descend on your union."  
  
As Isthia rose, her eyes fell on a figure she had given up all hope of ever seeing again. In his long crimson coat, his beautiful dark hair tied with a leather thong, those russet eyes filled with sorrow and pity...and...dare she hope...love? Isthia's breath caught in her throat, and she quickly lowered her eyes so as not to arouse Kirin's suspicions. Her head began to ache, her heart to beat faster. A smile of pure joy crossed her face as she raised her head again. But he was gone! Where had he gone- her life, her soul, her love?! Panic welled up in her- she knew she had to get away- away from all these people, away from this oppressing Yevon dogma, and most of all, away from her-she shuddered-husband. She turned to Kirin.  
  
"Kirin, may I have your leave to retire? The stress of the day is giving me a headache, and I must have my rest." She smiled sweetly at him to hide the disdain she knew her eyes were betraying.  
  
Kirin pulled her off to one side, his grip unyielding. When he spoke, his voice was low and dangerous. "I saw him, Isthia Lighthand. I will NOT allow you to make an idiot of me and a whore of yourself. How dare you try to justify your conduct?"  
  
Isthia's rage flared. "Get your hands off me, Kirin! You dare try to harm a summoner of Yevon or impede her training! Maester Mika will hear of this!"  
  
Kirin raised his hand and struck Isthia square in the face. "You dare speak to me that way! Get out of my sight, you trash! Go! Go satisfy your lust! Just know that doing so will cause his death!"  
  
Isthia's hand slowly rose to her face, hiding the livid crimson mark. Quietly she spoke. "May Yevon judge between me and you, husband." With that, she ran from the Maester's house, tears streaming down her face.  
  
She ran. She didn't know where- she just ran until she felt dizzy and lightheaded from lack of breath. In front of her, the palace of St. Bevelle loomed large. The temple- her sanctuary. Flinging the doors open, she ran inside and fell at the feet of the high summoners before her, sobbing tempestuously. A noise made her jerk her head up and reach for the small dagger concealed at her waist. But her fear changed to joy as Auron stepped out from behind the statues.  
  
He regarded her. She stared at him from her position on the cold stone floor. Without speaking, and in one swift movement, they found their way into each other's arms.  
  
Auron held her as she cried. She cried until she could cry no more as he stroked her hair, murmuring soothingly.  
  
"Don't, my precious, please. It's not your fault. Kinoc told me everything- don't blame yourself, please. I know this wasn't your choice."  
  
Isthia raised a tearstained face. "Auron....please....don't...."  
  
Auron regarded her questioningly. "What, love? What is..."  
  
Before he could say anymore, Isthia's lips were on his in a searing kiss. Surprised, he resisted at first, but slowly melted into her arms, returning the kiss in all its fire and passion. She whimpered in his arms, pulling him closer, kissing him deeply. When they finally pulled away, Isthia spoke first.  
  
"Don't ever leave me- I'm not going back to him. Our marriage....it...isn't binding yet...."  
  
The weight of what she was saying struck Auron in force. She still belonged to him, body and soul. He tenderly brushed back a strand of her hair before lifting her into his arms and carrying her toward the temple living quarters, where his own private apartment waited. Setting her down inside, Auron searched her face for signs of regret, apprehension, or hesitation. There was none. Cupping her face in his hands, he kissed her, savoring the feeling of her body against his, the softness of her lips, the scent of her hair.... He could kiss her all night....  
  
The next morning he woke to the weight of Isthia's head on his shoulder, the warm cocoon of her body pressed against his. He brushed her lips gently with his own. She stirred, snuggled closer to him, and opened her eyes. She smiled. Auron was home.  
  
So, SO?! What did all you peeps think? Let me know, huh? Next time I won't be so slow about updating. Hope it was worth the wait! 


	8. The Path You Take

No Matter How Dark the Night Chapter 8  
  
A/N: Hi everybody. Thanks sooooo much for all those sweet reviews. Sakin- you really love me! This one's for you. Hope you guys enjoy  
  
Isthia drowsed in the warmth of the sunbeam that fell across the bed she shared with Auron. His sleeping bulk lay next to her, his strong arms tightly around her. She smiled at the recollection of last night- she had gone from miserable to drowning in ecstasy within just an hour. She laughed at her own foolishness at thinking the precepts of Yevon were the only things she could obey. Last night she had obeyed her heart, which she now acknowledged as her only master.  
  
Auron stirred and opened his eyes. Isthia was studying his face as if it were a rune that she could see her future in. He grinned lazily and trailed his fingers across her shoulder, feeling her tremble, as she always did when he touched her. She snuggled closer to him, fitting her head under his chin.  
  
"Auron," she murmured, her voice muffled in his shoulder.  
  
"Yes, beloved?" Auron tilted her chin up to meet his eyes.  
  
"What are we going to do? Kirin's not going to take this lying down, and neither is Gaia. We- we have to leave Bevelle- that's all there is to it." Isthia's eyes showed Auron that there was no changing her mind, but he still tried.  
  
"Isthia. You are soon to be a summoner, and I will soon be a warrior monk. You can't just walk away from all your training- it's kept you strong. Besides, you're just a few months away from your pilgrimage- I won't let you give all that up!"  
  
Isthia shook her head, knowing he was right. "But- Kirin....and Gaia- they...won't just look the other way at this."  
  
Auron shushed her with a gentle finger on her lips. "You let me worry about that, little one. Right now you need to get moving- morning summons are about to begin." His eyes burned with passion as he kissed her goodbye, and Isthia felt her body warm in anticipation of what would surely be another night of bliss. She dressed quickly, and ran to the temple, arriving just in time to take her place among the kneeling almost- summoners. She noticed with a little bit of trepidation that Kirin was not among the priests leading the prayers that morning.  
  
At that moment Kirin wished he could be anywhere but where he was. He sat silently in Maester Mika's audience chamber, his head bowed. The Maester sat stonefaced, regarding the young priest in front of him. When he finally spoke, Kirin's blood ran cold.  
  
"You, Kirin Lighthand, are a disgrace. Forget the fact that she's your wife, the fact that she loves another, and analyze your actions. You raised your hand against a summoner of Yevon, one of the most revered individuals in our land! NO-" Mika raised a hand as Kirin tried to speak. "I don't want to hear whatever meager defense you've put together. You have brought dishonor upon yourself and your rank as priest. In fact, I'm not entirely sure you deserve that honor. I made a mistake in allowing you to become one. But happily that's a mistake I don't have to live with. Kirin Lighthand, it is my official ruling that you are forthwith stripped of your rank as priest. Now, go to Isthia and apologize. Beg her to come back. Your marriage at least I will preserve. You may go."  
  
Kirin rose slowly. Stripped as priest- and Isthia unpunished for her adulterous ways?!" He wouldn't live for it.  
  
"Y-Your Grace, may I speak?" Mika looked up, as if surprised by his presence.  
  
"Well if it is so important that you defy my command to go- I suppose I have to listen," Mika replied, settling himself in his chair.  
  
"What is to happen to Isthia for the dishonor she brought upon HER rank as summoner by her inappropriate behavior? Should she not also answer to Yevon for her mistreatment of one of his priests?"  
  
Mika's expression did not change. "What I intend to do with your wife is none of your concern. Rest assured, however, that your wife will return to you tonight."  
  
Kirin bowed. "Thank you, Your Grace. Forgive me for taking up too much of your time."  
  
Mika sighed as he leaned back in his chair. Now came the messy part of this whole affair. He summoned one of his messengers. "Bring the lady Isthia to me," he commanded. The messenger bowed silently and went on his way.  
  
Auron as well was having a difficult morning. He had been summoned to the high priest's audience chamber and now sat in silence, his hand on his katana, ready for trouble. Molkan took in his measure.  
  
"Auron, my boy, that's a fine sword you have, son. Can you use it?"  
  
"Some," Auron replied, shifting the sword with a natural grace that assured Molkan 'some,' was a severe understatement of his abilities.  
  
"Mmm, very good. I can see why she has fallen for you. Handsome, talented, strong personality- yes, I approve. Well," he said brightly, "On with the plans- the wedding takes place in three days!" He slapped Auron on the shoulder.  
  
Auron sat stunned. Wedding? What wedding? The only wedding he was interested in was his and Isthia's, which would take longer than 3 days to arrange, given the-er- delicate nature of the proceedings. Suddenly his stomach knotted into a million different twists. Surely he didn't mean...  
  
"Your eminence, if I may..." Auron stumbled in choosing his words. "I should like to know whose wedding you refer to, so that I may clarify my understanding."  
  
Molkan guffawed heartily. "Why yours and Gaia's of course, my boy! Surely you've noticed how she just mopes and looks at you with those gorgeous eyes full of love for the ground you walk! My little girl has fallen for you, and my little girl can get whatever she wants."  
  
Auron sat back in his chair, a sickening feeling coming over him. As if there were not already enough complications to his being with Isthia- now HE was the one expected to marry! He shook his head.  
  
"My lord, I am truly flattered by your- your generous and most gracious offer. But...I cannot accept. My heart is given elsewhere."  
  
Molkan leaned in close. "That wasn't an offer, son. That was a statement of fact. You marry Gaia in three days or there will be no end to the hell I'll bring down on your head. You'll beg for death by the time I'm done with you!" Then he smiled brightly. "Gaia, Gaia my pet! Come here and kiss your fiancée!"  
  
With catlike grace, Gaia entered the room, her green eyes spiteful and triumphant. Silkily she strode up to Auron and kissed him tenderly. He stiffened. "Oh, Auron, my love," she purred, stroking his cheek. "I'm going to make you so happy." Auron tried not to sneer. Underneath the purring voice, the tender kiss, he sensed burning triumph, elation at her 'victory'. He bowed formally. "The lady Gaia does me much honor. I shall endeavor to deserve her." And he turned on his heel and left.  
  
At that moment, Isthia sat silent in Maester Mika's hall, in the same seat her husband had vacated just an hour before. Mika regarded her kindly before walking to her and placing a hand on her shoulder. Surprised by this move, she looked up.  
  
"You've been unhappy, I'm sorry," Mika said, bowing his head. "It was a mistake to do that to you, my beauty. Can you forgive me?"  
  
Isthia's eyes widened. The Grand Maester of Yevon, apologizing to her? She remembered herself and smiled softly.  
  
"You had my best interests at heart, my Lord. There is nothing to forgive."  
  
Mika smiled. "Go to him, tell him what you feel. Whatever decision you make I will uphold, even though your marriage will be binding as long as you live. Take your time in doing so. And accept my apologies. As a summoner, you know what is expected of you, what I expect of you. You are bound by the sacrament of marriage. If you take years in coming to the right decision, don't worry. All life is a journey, summoner. The path you take may be long, but it will lead you home. Now go."  
  
Isthia bowed and left. In other words, she thought bitterly, you just ordered me to go back to him. Well, we'll just see about that.  
  
Ok, please don't hate me for these two cliffhangers- I PROMISE I'll update soon! Hugs and kisses to all my fans! Oh, and keep all those great reviews coming! 


	9. Killing Me Softly

No Matter How Dark the Night

Chapter 8

Hi all- once again accept my apologies for the delay. School, accompanied by a serious case of writer's block, has delayed this chappie. But I'm back and I hope you all enjoy.

Isthia contemplated what Maester Mika had told her earlier that morning as she awaited Auron's arrival in the secluded apartment they shared. It WAS her duty to go back to Kirin as an upstanding member of Yevon. But, at the same time, her heart screamed at her that it was wrong, that it betrayed everything she had ever believed in, that nothing could ever take the place of the love she shared with Auron. She sighed. It was not fair. It wasn't fair that a sixteen-year-old girl had to deal with this. She was too young to be a wife! At least, to be a wife with so much expected of her. However, she remembered something Auron's mother had told her long ago, as she lay dying. It came to her mind as she watched the sun set.

"My dear, Spira is not a world that nourishes the young, nor tolerates their dreams. It's a vicious place, which forces people to grow up much sooner than anyone would like. Sin is ever present, and it waits for no one to grow up. Some things remain the same no matter how old you are. And the best we can do is accept these things and move on, while keeping our humanity. That's what separates us from Sin."

Isthia snapped out of her reverie as Auron came up behind her. She had not even heard him approach. His hands descended on her shoulders as he turned her to face him. His lips met hers in a warm, tender kiss. As always, she yielded to the embrace, feeling her legs go weak at the fire in his touch. Any thoughts she had entertained about doing the right thing by duty melted like butter in a hot skillet at the demands of her heart.

A few hours later, Isthia lay against Auron's chest, her fingers tracing a pattern over the ridges of his body. He stroked her hair idly for a few moments, then got up, drawing a robe around his muscular frame. Isthia sat up, holding the sheet against her.

"What is it, my love?" she queried, her voice soft in the fading twilight. Auron glanced at her, his eyes tender.

"You know I will never love anyone as I love you, Isthia," he said, sitting on the edge of the bed, taking her hand in his. She nodded. Auron opened his mouth to say something, then shut it again and got up, restlessly pacing the room.

"So how can Molkan expect me to deny everything I am ready to die for to marry someone I hate?! All because it's what SHE wants!!" His rage surprised Isthia, who got up as well, holding the sheet wrapped around her. She went to him where he stood on their balconey with his back to her. She placed a hand on his back and rubbed gently. He turned to face her, his eyes flashing.

"So, he wishes you to marry Gaia," Isthia murmured, lowering her head. Auron nodded.

"Yes, and it's quite clear what my fate will be should I be so impertinent as to refuse," Auron said acidly.

Isthia looked up, resignation on her face. "Now it seems the hard hand of duty reaches for both of us, beloved. You are bound by duty to marry, and I am bound to return to the one I was duty-bound to marry. It is, indeed, a hard and demanding master."

Auron blinked. "Bound to return to Kirin? NO!! Not while I have breath to draw! He shall not have you!!"

Isthia raised her head, tears of anger and frustration in her eyes. "You think I want it this way? You think it's easy for me to just give in to the one thing that repulses me most in the world? Think about it Auron! It means your life! If you don't marry Gaia, Molkan won't stop until you're dead for that humiliation! And if I don't return to Kirin, he will not give up until he has found me and all obstacles," Isthia waited until Auron looked at her. "ALL obstacles to his desire will be removed, one way or the other."

Auron looked away, her words echoing in his mind. She was right, damn it all. One thing Isthia had was the gift of getting right to the crux of the matter. Still....

"NO!!" he shouted, bringing his fist crashing down onto the small table at his side and rushing to Isthia, pulling her into his arms. "I'm not going to lose you to duty. To hell with duty! I love you Isthia, and that is worth anything, even death!"

Isthia pushed him away so that she could look into his eyes. "It may be worth it to you, but not to me. I will NOT see you hang for me! If you love me at all, Auron, please..."

She couldn't finish the sentence, as her tears began to fall.

Auron's head drooped in defeat. "Isthia," he murmured, taking her into his arms once more. "Don't cry, my angel, please. I can bear anything except your tears."

Isthia looked up at him. "Then don't make me cry forever, Auron, because that is what my life would be if you leave me this way. Even...even doing what will hurt us most, death is even worse pain than that. Yevon demands too many sacrifices as it is. Don't give it another. Marry her." Auron's head shot up to protest. "Marry....her...." Isthia said again, drawing out the words for the full effect. Auron stood staring at her for what seemed like ages before finally nodding.

"And you'll be returning to Kirin?" he asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yevon demands it," Isthia said, "though it will kill me softly every day until my pilgrimage is complete."

Auron could take it no longer. In a voice he hardly recognized as his own, he said softly, "Then stay with me, Isthia, for one more night. Give me a memory to cherish until the day when death releases us from the chains of duty and we can be together once more. Love me a lifetime's worth tonight."

The next morning, Auron stood in his best robes overlooking one of Bevelle's many harbors at the gates of the palace, watching the bridal procession walk towards him. Gaia shone as brightly as the sun, the iridescent fabric of her dress and veil a blinding white in the morning air. Seven girls walked in her train, garbed in pastel hues of pink, yellow, and lavender, save one, who wore all three in a graduation of colors. Isthia. Auron's breath caught at the sight of her. Gaia had requested her as matron of honor, a last cruel jab at what was left of Auron's heart. And what a jab it was, for never in his life had Auron seen anything so beautiful. The dress flowed seamlessly from one color to the next, the yellow closest to her face, the lavender at her feet, falling around her figure in a waterfall of delicate silk. Though she kept her eyes lowered most of the time, for a brief instant she raised her head and looked Auron straight in the face. He had just reached for Gaia's hand as she did so, but the look in her eyes froze him where he stood. Maester Mika had begun the vows, and he waited for Auron's response.

"Do you, Auron of Bevelle, take this woman to be your wedded wife, in accord with the blessing of Yevon upon this union, to love and comfort her, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, and forsaking all others, keep yourself for her alone, all the days of your life?"

But Auron was not looking at Gaia. His eyes were riveted on Isthia, who held his gaze. The aura between them was almost visible. Gaia dug her nails into Auron's palm as if to recall him to the present. Without looking at either Gaia, Molkan, or Maester Mika, he heard himself saying, "I can't."

Gaia's breath hissed out of her. "You can't?! No, Auron, the typical response to that question is usually 'I do.'"

Auron slowly tore his eyes from Isthia's face, now frozen in a mask of surprise.

"I can promise you all these other things, Gaia, but I cannot keep myself for you alone. My heart was spoken for long ago. I cannot give it to you. You may do what you wish with me, but I will not betray my heart."

Isthia reeled, but managed to stay upright. Gaia's eyes blazed with emerald fire.

"So," she said, dropping his hand. "This is what you want."

Auron stepped over to Isthia and took her hand. "No, this is what I want. To live my life with this woman in peace."

Gaia's eyes fell on Isthia, and her face crumpled. Slowly she backed away until she stood on the edge of the harbor, over two hundred feet above water.

"You will never have peace, Auron, not after this!" And she toppled backwards off the harbor, hitting the water and killing her instantly.

Isthia screamed, Molkan yelled at the honor guard to seize them, and a tall Guado stepped out of the shadows. Jyscal. "Milady, this way!"

The sight of Jyscal galvanized Isthia. Seizing Auron's hand, she ran towards him, following as he led them away from the scuffle.

Once they were away and hidden, Isthia rounded on Auron. "WHY?!" she cried out, collapsing on the pavement.

"I couldn't do it." Auron shook his head in surrender. "No matter what it costs, I couldn't do it."

Isthia buried her head in her hands. "Lord Jyscal..."

"Milady, I cannot bear to see you suffer. I know that Auron will become a fugitive and that you have given your word to return to your husband. Do not worry milady, I will look after him."

Isthia raised her head with tears in her eyes. "You understand my reasons, don't you Jyscal?" The saturnine Guado nodded, his gentian eyes twin pools of sadness. "And I will always be here to help you Milady."

Isthia ran to him and embraced him. He held her gently, then stepped away. "Now then, about the business of getting you away from Bevelle," he said, turning to Auron. Auron nodded, still confused about Isthia's 'reasons.'

"Follow me," Jyscal commanded, then stopped. "AFTER you say a proper goodbye to your lady. For it will be impossible to see her again, you know." Auron nodded again.

Isthia stood watching him. He closed the gap between them so fast she barely had time to draw breath. The kiss lingered for what seemed like forever, but was over before it began. As he pulled away, they both had tears in their eyes. "I'll always love you Isthia Ravenhart! Always!" And Auron vanished into the shadows behind Jyscal.

Isthia slowly made her way to the apartment she had shared with Kirin. Placing her hand on the door, she took a deep breath before pushing it open. Kirin was seated in the living room, a prayer book in his hand. He was on his feet immediately as Isthia entered.

"You've returned," he said quietly. She nodded.

"I have- to be a proper wife and deny you nothing. I do your bidding, Kirin, and deny you nothing." Isthia bowed her head.

Kirin stepped toward her, and tilted her chin up. "Nothing?" he questioned. She held his gaze. He dropped her chin and took her hand, guiding her to the bedroom. She didn't resist, even when he laid her down and claimed her lips with his. Later, as he lay sleeping beside her, Isthia's tears fell...for what had occurred, the love that she had lost...and for the child she carried within her- the last remnant of Auron she had left.

Tell me what you think- I hope you guys like this next chapter in the saga.


	10. Til Death Us Do Part

No Matter How Dark the Night

Chapter 10: Til Death Us Do Part

It's been nearly a year since I updated- I look back and see how this mimics my own life. Thank you all for staying with me- enjoy the next chapter!

Isthia took a deep, shuddering breath, cupping her hands and drinking from the fountain in her bathroom, attempting to quell the nausea that had been making a daily visit for the past two weeks. She rubbed her belly gently, as if by her touch she could soothe the tiny life within her, her child. Hers and….her eyes filled with tears at the memory of the father….dark hair and eyes that had burned with so much passion in those nights spent together. As nausea once again claimed her, a light rap on the door made Isthia's heart nearly claw itself out of her chest.

"Isthia? Are you all right?"

Kirin's gentle patronizing tone caused a shudder to run through Isthia as she slowly straightened and opened the door. His face was a mask of gentle concern as he brushed a strand of her hair away from her face, the black strand even more sharply contrasted against the ghostly pallor of her complexion.

"I'm fine Kirin- the gala food was just a bit too rich for me last night, that's all."

Kirin stepped closer, embracing his wife. "Darling, for the past few weeks everything you've eaten has been 'too rich' for you. I know what's happening, even if you don't. You're pregnant. And I am the happiest man in the world!"

Isthia stiffened in his embrace. If only he knew, she thought sadly. Oh Auron- you'll never see your child, and I'll never see you. WHY Yevon? Why do you make us suffer so? I wish I could see him just ONE more time…I'd die for that….I'd die for love.

At that moment, Auron sat for a few moments in quiet meditation, remembering the past few months of hell he'd had to endure. Watching Gaia tumble into the harbor, seeing the wide-eyed shock on Isthia's face….their last fateful kiss, saying goodbye to Kinoc, following Jyscal out of Bevelle, then taking up with a band of mercenaries trying to make some extra gil by protecting the odd traveler here and there. It had kept his mind off the memories of the heaven he'd left in Isthia's arms.

Months later, Isthia sat quietly in the garden adjoining the house she shared with Kirin. She sighed wearily at the pain in her back. It hurt constantly now, with the weight of the child she carried. The midwife who had come to stay with them in the last week of Isthia's pregnancy was worried. The baby was very big in comparison to Isthia's tiny frame. It was going to be a very difficult birth. These thoughts raced through Isthia's mind as she slowly rose- and gasped in pain. The first contraction hit her with sudden and sharp deliberateness, gripping her like a vise. She inhaled slowly, almost fainting with relief as her midwife, Lusena, appeared.

"Lusena….help me…." She begged, holding her hand out. Lusena was at her side in a second, her arm around the frightened young girl.

"It's all right milady, breathe, women have babies all the time….hang on, it'll all be over soon." As the waves of pain swept over Isthia, she became delirious, calling Auron's name over and over again, her strength fading with every contraction. It was afternoon when the birth began, and the first fingers of dawn were showing over the horizon as Lusena wrapped a tiny bundle in a soft cream-colored blanket. A tiny wail brought Isthia back to present- the wail of her new baby daughter.

There was no denying who this baby belonged to. She had Isthia's jet-black hair, her skin, and a perfect rosebud mouth that would mimic her mother's perfectly. But instead of silver-blue eyes, the little girl had large golden eyes that focused solemnly on her nurse. Auron had left his mark. His beautiful russet eyes, lightened by Isthia's blue ones, endowed his daughter with eyes as hypnotizing as the sun that rose. Lusena knew then that this was not Kirin's child. She was simply too beautiful. Seeing Isthia watching her dully, Lusena laid the baby in her mother's arms, knowing that this time with her child would be the only time Yevon would afford the young mother. She was bound for the Farplane- the stress of giving birth was slowly letting her life drain away. Kirin was away from Bevelle at the present time…yet another thing to take Isthia's respect away from him. Supposedly she was giving birth to his child and he LEAVES!

As Isthia gazed at her daughter through a film of tears, she saw just how much the baby looked like Auron. And then she made up her mind.

"Lusena," she whispered, "I'm dying, and I don't want my daughter raised by that…that MAN who forced me to marry him. She's not even his- she belongs to my love, my Auron. Give her to the temple, as I was given when I was orphaned. Don't let her EVER forget who she is, but Kirin must never know she lived. Tell her she died, as I did. Tell the priests you found her abandoned, tell them ANYthing. And when she's old enough, you must tell her the truth of who she is. Tell her she's the product of the most beautiful thing in all Spira- love. Tell her to stay true to herself, no matter what. Tell her her parents were willing to give anything so that she could be. Tell her…."

And thus did Isthia Ravenhart leave Spira for the Farplane…finally free of the pain that life had imposed on her.


	11. Look How You've Grown

No Matter How Dark the Night

Chapter 11: Look How You've Grown

Isthia's funeral was held quickly, as per Kirin's request. Lusena had wondered at the lack of emotion with which he had greeted the news of his wife's death, as well as the supposed death of his daughter. He stood at the head of the altar covered in flowers for his wife, his face an expressionless mask as Maester Mika intoned the words to commemorate an almost-summoner. Lusena shuddered at the lack of feeling in Kirin's eyes. No wonder Isthia had fallen in love with that dark-eyed guardian that Lusena knew was her baby's father. Perhaps someday, Lusena thought, he can meet his little girl, because I know Elara Ravenhart will have her mother's gift for the summoning arts.

At that moment, Auron sat hunched over a campfire in the middle of Macalania Woods, pulling his coat around him to ward off the chill ever present. His heart burned like the fire in front of him, warm from the memories of his angel, Isthia. He loved her so much it hurt, and he knew it would kill him to live without her. In that moment he made a decision. He was going back to Bevelle. He was going back to find her…to find his life. Whatever it took, he would find her and he would MAKE it work. He was a fool for ever leaving her, but it was a mistake he didn't have to live with.

But unfortunately, Auron didn't make it back to Bevelle until almost 7 years later. The mercenary band he was loosely allied with ran into problem after problem, from getting lost to being ambushed to being demanded for their services at an almost breakneck pace. Auron had to delay his plans over and over again, going crazy with not knowing Isthia's welfare or what she was doing. They had never spent more than a week apart when they were young, but now…..seven whole YEARS had passed. That was it, he thought. I'm leaving this lifestyle and I'm going back. I can't stand this anymore. And with that the soon-to-be legendary guardian began his journey back to Bevelle, to home…..to Isthia.

In the huge temple of St. Bevelle, a small girl sat bent over a large volume cradled in her lap, one foot tucked up under her, her lips pursed. She was unusual; one of the youngest apprentice summoners Bevelle had ever undertaken to train. The book she held in her lap was a history of Yevon, which lit twin color spots of excitement in her pale cheeks. The entity which had taken her in had inspired such devotion in her small frame, especially at the knowledge that her mother had been somewhat of a legend herself. At the noise of a door slamming, the girl's head shot up, revealing large, lucid amber eyes set in a perfect face, framed by midnight black hair. At the face of her dearest friend, Lusena, the girl bounced from her chair with a shriek. "SENA!"

Lusena smiled sadly watching the little beauty run towards her. She looks just like her mother, but for those eyes, the woman thought. Those must belong to her father. As it is, she's going to be hypnotizing when she's older. She reached to embrace the girl, who was none other than Elara Ravenhart, the daughter of Isthia and Auron.

It took Auron 3 days to reach Bevelle. It hadn't changed much in 7 years, other than being a bit bigger and imposing. His eyes barely saw the new harbor, or the new priests' quarters. His eyes were fixed on the temple, knowing he'd find Isthia there. His strides were resolute, his vision focused on the massive structure, so much so that he nearly ran into Kinoc, his old friend of years ago.

"Oh, excuse me," Auron mumbled, still not seeing who he had run into.

"AURON!" Kinoc yelled. Auron's head jerked around. "KINOC!"

The two friends laughed joyously and embraced. "Yevon be praised, LOOK at you Auron! I would NOT want to meet you in the dark of night!"

Auron grinned, adding a softer edge to his don't-mess-with-me-or-else persona. His hair was longer, held back by a leather thong. His clothing fit a little tighter now, emphasizing the taut muscles the clothes concealed. His eyes were sharp, alert, with a predatory gleam in them. The dangerous aura almost oozed out of him, causing several passersby to think twice before trying to push past him.

Kinoc, on the other hand, had obviously grown accustomed to a soft, protected life in Spira's capital. His loose robes showed a considerable girth, and his wide, honest face belied belief in a rigorous exercise routine. They were complete opposites- hard and soft, lean and well-endowed, desirable and…well…not so desirable. Throwing his arm around Auron's shoulders, Kinoc began the business of catching up.

"You've got some nerve showing up here, old friend. There's still a price on your head, even with Molkan dead. You're either brave, stupid, or both. What brings you here?"

Auron just smiled slightly. "Like I have to tell you. Where is she?"

Kinoc's face fell. "Of course….you wouldn't know. Follow me, old friend."

A few moments later Auron stood in a darkened chamber of the temple, his head bowed in front of a marker bearing the inscription "Isthia Ravenhart Lighthand." "When?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Not long after you left. She died in childbirth, her and the baby."

It was too much. Auron slid to the floor, burying his face in her hands. "O….Yevon….WHY! WHY!"

Kinoc stood with tears in his eyes. He knew of the love that was shared between his friend and the beautiful apprentice. To see the knowledge that they were now parted for good cut him to the heart.

"I'm sorry Auron. I know how you loved her."

Auron's shoulders shook with sobs. "I'm gonna kill him. I'm JUST gonna kill him for killing her! WHERE IS HE!" he asked leaping up, his katana drawn, making Kinoc gulp.

"He- he left after Isthia died. He went to oversee the temple of Djose, and he was killed by Sin last year in one of the Crusaders' operations."

Auron gnashed his teeth. "He met a more merciful fate at Sin's hands than mine. I'd have taken every bit of her pain and mine out on his worthless hide. He'd have been pleading for death by the time I was finished, that…that BASTARD!"

Kinoc held his hands up placatingly. "There's more. He denied the child. He said that according to the first time he 'knew' Isthia, that the child was either premature, or that she was already pregnant. He- he believes the child was yours."

The katana wavered, and Auron gasped. HIS child! "But…but Isthia would have told me… I never would have left if I'd known, Kinoc! I didn't KNOW!"

Kinoc nodded. "It was just a theory. And the child is dead, Yevon rest her soul, so there is really nothing you can do."

"…..She?" Auron asked. "It was a girl?" Kinoc nodded. "With raven hair like her mother, and beautiful golden eyes, or so I heard from the midwife who delivered her. She said she never cried, just looked at her solemnly and then slipped away."

Auron bowed his head. "She always wanted a child….and she never got to see her. Oh, Kinoc…." Auron's resolve crumbled, and he cried- deep, heartbreaking sobs that betrayed all the pent-up emotions of the last 7 years. He sat in the darkness as Kinoc patted his shoulder and let his friend cry.


End file.
